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Interview: Best-Selling and Award Winning Author Dan Walsh! Yahoo!

30 Thursday May 2013

Posted by Holly Michael in Books

≈ 17 Comments

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ACFW, ACFW-Kansas City, American Christian Fiction Writers, Author, award winning Christian books, best-seller, Christian Fiction, Christian Love Story, Christian Novels, Christian Romance, Christianity, Christmas Novels, Clean Reads, Dan Walsh, forgiveness, Gary Smalley, Historical Novels, Inspiration, Leave out the parts readers skip, Love, Novels, redemption, Remembering Christmas, Restoration Series, romance, The Dance, The Deepest Waters, The Discovery, The Homecoming, The Promise, The Reunion, The unfinished Gift, Theme of Forgiveness, Theme of Love, Theme of Redemption, Themes of Forgiveness, Writing, writing advice, Writing Tips, www.danwalshbooks.com, www.writingstraight.com

Recently, we were super-blessed at our local Kansas City chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW)! Best-selling and award-winning author Dan Walsh (also an ACFW member) skyped into our monthly meeting from his home in Florida. He spoke about the craft of writing, and answered a few of our questions.

(Psst…hang in there for a HUGE SURPRISE to come).

poster

Dan Walsh writes contemporary and historical novels–mostly love stories and family-life dramas. He’s been called “the Nicholas Sparks of Christian Fiction,” and is often compared to Richard Paul Evans. Currently, he’s working on a novel with Dr. Gary Smalley (family counselor, president and founder of the Smalley Relationship Center and author of books on family relationships from a Christian perspective).

AND…Guess what? Here’s the HUGE SURPRISE!

betsy2 (2)

(I love using this picture of my kids. Hee Hee)

I contacted Dan after the ACFW meeting and he granted me a personal interview! Woohoo! I’m so honored, especially since he’s also done interviews with media such as USA Today.

(Maybe my interview isn’t that big of a surprise since I put it in the title. ;-))

But before we delve into the interview, I’d love to share my story of how Dan Walsh’s books recently impacted my life.

About a week after our ACFW meeting (where I first met Dan Walsh via Skype) I suffered a very painful back/nerve injury. Couldn’t walk for weeks, then only with a walker. During my down time, I turned to Dan Walsh’s novels that I’d purchased on my Kindle. I devoured them like candy for the soul. Read three of them, then bought a few more. His books became my new addiction. I even gave up Candy Crush and that is one addicting game!

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Dan Walsh’s books are way better than crushing candy. His fascinating plots and lovable characters stick with you. Sounds cliché-ish, but Dan’s books sucked me in from the first page, captured me, and held me to the last page and beyond.

DW

For days, I lived in Dan Walsh’s novels with these wonderful, believable characters. Themes of forgiveness, redemption, and love cut through my pain and warmed my heart. Like I said, soul candy. With all sincerity, each one of these books blessed me in its own unique way.

And in my condition, grounded and in pain, I didn’t feel like writing. But thanks to Dan Walsh, I was not only captivated as a reader, but also inspired as a writer. Often “Aha” moments popped into my head on how to really write well.

I’m anxious to get to the interview with Dan, but first, take a quick look at a few of his inspirational books:

Deepest WatersTHE DEEPEST WATERS, based on real events, is an epic tale of a shipwreck and two lost lovers. What began as a fairytale honeymoon in 1857 for John and Laura Foster aboard the steamship SS Vandervere becomes a nightmare when a hurricane causes their ship to sink into the murky depths of the Atlantic. Laura finds herself with the other women and children aboard a sailing ship while John and a hundred other men drift on the open sea on anything they could grab as the Vandervere went down. Suspecting her John is gone but still daring to hope for a miracle, Laura must face the possibility of life alone–and meeting her new in-laws without their son if she ever reaches New York. The Deepest Waters is an emotional and honest story of hope, faith, and love in the face of uncertainty. I read this one without stopping for food or sleep. Actually lost weight this day. Yay. Double blessing!

The Reunion

THE REUNION. Aaron Miller was an old, worn-out Vietnam vet, a handyman in a trailer park. Forty years prior, he saved the lives of three young men in the field only to come home from the war and lose everything. But God is a master at finding and redeeming the lost things of life. Aaron is about to be found. And the one who finds him just might find the love of his life as well. Loved it! I wanted to morph into this book and hug these characters. They were people with real guts, who made me cheer them on, laugh and cry. 

The disc

THE DISCOVERY. Gerard Warner was not only a literary giant whose suspense novels sold in the millions, he was also a man devoted to his family, especially his wife of nearly 60 years. When he dies he leaves his Charleston estate to his grandson, Michael, an aspiring writer himself. Michael settles in to write his own first novel and discovers an unpublished manuscript his grandfather had written, something he’d kept hidden from everyone but clearly intended Michael to find. Michael begins to read an exciting tale about Nazi spies and sabotage, but something about this story is different from all of Gerard Warner’s other books. It’s actually a love story. This masterfully crafted book was my fav! Good thing I was stuck on the couch because I could not have tolerated setting down my Kindle in the middle of this one.  

unfinTHE UNFINISHED GIFT. Set at Christmastime in 1943, The Unfinished Gift tells in an engaging, simple style the story of a family, and reminds us of the surprising things that affect powerful change in our hearts–like a young boy’s prayers, a shoebox full of love letters, and even an old wooden soldier, long forgotten. This nostalgic story of forgiveness will engage readers everywhere. Don’t wait for Christmastime to read this one. It’ll make a wonderful Christmas gift, though. A can’t go wrong gift for women and men alike! Wonderful!

HCTHE HOMECOMING is a sequel to The Unfinished Gift. No sooner is Shawn Collins home from the fighting in Europe than he’s called upon to serve his country as a war hero on a USO bond tour. Others might jump at the chance to travel all around the country with attractive Hollywood starlets. But not Shawn. He just wants to stay home with his son Patrick, his aging father and to grieve the loss of his wife in private. When Shawn asks Katherine Townsend, Patrick’s former social worker, to be Patrick’s nanny while he’s on the road, he has no idea how this decision will impact his life. Could it be the key to his future happiness and the mending of his heart? Or will the war once again threaten his chances for a new start? More heartwarming time with already beloved characters. And I loved the historical aspect.

CHRISTMASDWREMEMBERING CHRISTMAS. Rick Denton lives his life on his terms. He works hard, plays hard, and answers to no one. So when his mother calls on Thanksgiving weekend begging him to come home after his stepfather has a stroke, Rick is more than a little reluctant. He’s never liked Art and resents the man’s presence in his life, despite the fact that his own father abandoned the family when Rick was just twelve. When what was supposed to be just a couple of days helping out at the family bookstore turns into weeks of cashing out old ladies and running off the homeless man who keep hanging about, Rick’s attitude sours even more. Still, slowly but surely, the little bookstore and its quirky patrons–as well as the lovely young woman who works at his side each day–work their magic on him, revealing to Rick the truth about his family, his own life, and the true meaning of Christmas. With skillful storytelling, Dan Walsh creates a Christmas story that will have readers remembering every good and perfect gift of Christmas. Another engaging heartwarming read to be enjoyed any time of the year.

***

And now onto what we’ve all been waiting for: Dan Walsh!

 

hm1Holly: Welcome Dan! I’ve enjoyed many of your books and can’t wait to read more. Now, you’re co-authoring a book with Dr. Gary Smalley.

Can you tell us a little about these new books and how that writing relationship came to be? (Sorry, that’s two questions in one)

Dan Walsh

Dan: Sure Holly. The Dance is the first of four books in the Restoration series I’m writing with Gary. It begins with what might appear to be a normal, healthy Christian family; but appearances can be deceiving. Jim and Marilyn Anderson have been married for twenty-seven years but, in many ways, their family relationship has been built on shifting sand. Like that metaphor Jesus uses in the gospels, throughout The Dance and the other books in the series the “winds and rains and storms” will beat against their house, and it falls. When the book opens, Jim is shocked to find Marilyn has left him, but not for another man. The things that have caused their marriage to drift to the point of collapse are very common things that can happen and do happen in many marriages. But the heart of the story, and the other books in the series (which will feature each of their adult children) is restoration. We will explore credible ways that God uses to mend lives and restore shattered dreams.

Sorry, that was a long answer. Hard to summarize four books in a few lines. The shorter answer to your second question is that Gary had decided he wanted to do another fiction series similar to the wildly successful Redemption series he did with Karen Kingsbury. So he set his team on a mission to find someone who’s writing affected him the way Karen’s did. The outcome of that search led them to me. They gave Gary my first two novels to read. He called them while on a speaking trip a few days later saying he couldn’t put the books down and they had him crying at the end (in a good way). They called my publisher and extended an invitation to me, which I quickly accepted.

Gary-and-Dan-on-cover-of-Family-Fiction-233x300

Holly: Pretty cool that you made Gary Smalley cry. It’s a goal of mine to make a famous person cry someday. Speaking of making men cry, you write romance, but after reading your books, I’m convinced that men would enjoy your books as much as women would, maybe even shed a few man tears. “They” say men don’t read romance, but besides Gary Smalley, do you find men among your many fans?

Dan: I think many men don’t read romance, sadly, because men don’t typically read books written by women. It shouldn’t be that way, but there it is. And men won’t read a book with a cover that even looks like a book written for women. Which is why Gary and I objected to the direction the publisher wants to go with the Restoration series. We’ve written these books with more of a 50/50 focus, for both husbands and wives. They are deferring to the market reality, which we agree is true, that 80% of fiction readers are women. Hopefully, wives who love The Dance will be able to prevail upon their husbands to read it, too. We’re also aware that many men use Ereaders like the Kindle, so they don’t have the fear of people seeing them read a book with a woman on the cover.

As for my other stand-alone novels, I do get a lot of feedback from men who really love my books (my other covers are more neutral). But still, I would say the ratio seems more like the 80/20 ratio I just mentioned.

Holly: I’m suffering withdrawal symptoms now and am super-anxious to read more of your books. Please share what’s upcoming.

Dan: Book 2 in the Restoration series, The Promise, is finished and due out in September. I’ve finished another standalone novel set in 1962, called What Follows After, due out next spring. At the moment, I’m writing Book 3 with Gary, then I’ll keep writing Book 4 after that. That should keep me busy for the next eleven months. Beyond that, I have one more Christmas novel to write on my contract (I already have 5 more book ideas roughed out for my next proposal, Lord willing).

Holly: Wow, you’re a prolific writer. As a full-time writer, how much time do you spend each day actually writing?

Dan: A typical day for me begins with a quiet time, then I spend about three hours taking care of all the miscellaneous support tasks for my writing life. Such as: emails, social media, marketing and publicity activity, etc. Then I’ll take a short break for lunch and spend the rest of the day writing the next chapter in my current book. So the actual time spent writing is about 4-5 hours.

Holly: Better let you get to writing then! Thanks for agreeing to this interview. It’s been a pleasure and I’m sure my blog readers will enjoy your books as much as I did. 

***

Wow! So cool to interview the famous Dan Walsh. This expert story-teller also shared some gold nuggets of good writing when he Skyped into our ACFW meeting. I must share them.

Dan said, “My favorite writer’s quote is by NY Times bestselling author Elmore Leonard, who said: ‘In your writing, try to leave out the parts readers skip’.”

Wonderful advice! The notes below (from the Skype meeting with Dan) are keys to becoming a really good writer and also are a pathway to nabbing the dream agent:

Self-Editing

  • One of the greatest challenges is not actually the writing part, the creative part. It’s what happens after, as we try to get our book ready for the market.
  • After the conferences, the how-to books, the critique partners, it comes down to you and what you put on the page. We don’t possess the ability to see ourselves accurately (the flawed lens). We must become an editor before we get an editor (actually, before we even get an agent.
  • The plight of agents and editors today:
  • So many manuscripts, so little time (consider the math…a reality check. They are not rejecting you, just what you write. This is actually good news (something you can change)

Beware Your Literary Heroes

  • Could Classic Authors even get an agent today? Consider Dickens…
  • Great writing is great writing, but the world (and our audience) has changed.
  • A concern about imitating contemporary heroes, too. Maybe you’ve seen some boring parts in some bestselling books and wonder if what I’m saying is really true (Hey look, these guys got published). You are not a bestseller, you don’t get to break the rules (not now anyway).

More on “the part readers tend to skip.”

  • Confession Time: “How many of you skip past the boring parts in books you buy?” Most of us do. What do you do when books have too many “skipping parts?”
  • Agents and Editors are readers, too. Remember the earlier point? Their time crunch?
  • What do you suppose they do if your first chapter has “skipping parts?” What if the first chapter doesn’t, but they start showing up as they read on?
  • On the flipside (the positive side)…what do you think they do when a book has no skipping parts? They keep reading…and reading…then ask for more (that’s what you want).

This is why it’s critical for us to learn how to Self-Edit, especially how to recognize the Parts Readers Skip.

Recognizing Where and When to Snip (and a little about Why)

  • Regarding the Setting…think movie scenes.
  • Regarding the Characters themselves:
    • Old way – every time you introduce a new character, take a paragraph or two to tell us what they look like. New way – don’t do that, anymore (a definite skipping part).
    • A sentence or two, here and there at most, as part of a character’s thoughts, or work it in small doses during dialog.
    • Showing vs Telling. Again, think movie scenes, not some narrator off to the side interrupting the action with clever observations.
    • RUE – Resist the Urge to Explain (imagine intelligent people are buying your books, who don’t need everything explained to them).
    • Make your characters sound like real people saying real things people might actually say. Not like proper British nobility or bad actors in B-movies. Goal is to make a prospective agent or editor forget they are reading a book.
    • Read your dialog out loud (or let someone else read it back to you out loud).
    • RUE in Dialog.
    • He said/she said….works for me. Don’t use “creative” speaker attributions; this is not the place for creative writing. (“Don’t go,” he fumed. “I love you,” she gushed)

Some great books Dan Walsh (and I) recommend:

  • Self-Editing for Fiction Writers – Renni Browne and Dave King
  • Write Tight – William Brohaugh
  • Revision and Self-Editing – James Scott Bell

Dan Walsh’s Closing Tip – Instructions for Test Readers or Critique Partners

Our worst enemy once we think our manuscript is done is not our critics; it’s us, and our craving for compliments. Pick a handful of trusted people who chain-read fiction. Asked them to use both a pen and a yellow marker (or the electronic equivalent). Pleaded with them to write or mark the following:

  • Any place you either skipped or were tempted to skip.
  • Anything that slowed the story down or bored you.
  • Any place you had to read more than once to understand.
  • Any dialog that sounded phony or artificial (like bad actors talking).

They will see things as they read, and they will have constructive/negative things to say. It’s up to you to convince them you really want and need to hear it. Then take all that good advice, get out the scissors, and begin to snip, snip, snip. Give your manuscript a total makeover.

scisosr

***

Wonderful advice. And now, to end this post on a note of inspiration, Dan gave me permission to re-post one of his blog posts. This one really spoke to me during my recovery from my injury:

Feeling Weak and Overwhelmed? A Great Place to Be 

by Dan Walsh

I feel weak sometimes. No, I feel weak a lot.

I wasn’t always like this. For many years, I felt strong and confident. As it turns out, it was an illusion. I was like the Emperor in that Hans Christian Anderson story, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” He isn’t wearing anything but, blinded by pride, he doesn’t see it.

Now I do see it, and it’s made me aware of my weakness on a regular basis.

Here’s an example: I’m beginning to write my 10th novel this week. Seven of the other nine are already published by major publishers (Revell and Guideposts). Novels eight and nine are in the pipeline, due out in 2013. I’ve already won three Carol awards (book-of-the-year). All of my novels have received rave reviews in magazines, blogs and on Amazon. I’ve been asked to co-author a fiction series by a mega bestselling author (Gary Smalley). My most recent novel has been optioned by a movie producer who has made several Hallmark films.

You’d think I’d feel confident inside as I set out to write a novel #10. But I don’t. I feel weak. I have doubts about whether I can do it again. What if I can’t? It’s my livelihood now. People are depending on me. What if the well runs dry? What will I do then?

Where does such weakness come from? Was something missing from my childhood? Have I experienced some traumatic things as an adult that have eroded my self-confidence? The answer to both of these questions is “yes.” But that’s not why I feel weak.

The real reason I feel weak, I believe, is a kindness from God. It’s not something I should dread but something I should celebrate. God, in His mercy, has lifted the veil of false confidence and self-sufficiency to help me see my true condition before Him.

By design, I was made (you were made) to walk in a dependent relationship with God. It was Adam’s fall that created the illusion that we can make a success of things on our own. The truth is, God created us for intimate fellowship with Him. This need we have for Him is built-in, intended to continually draw us toward Him.

We are hard-wired for dependence. And that is why we feel weak, when we feel weak. The good news is, because of Christ, the strength we lack is continuously available and in abundant supply. But we won’t benefit from this if we continue to walk in the illusion of strength (or should I say delusion of strength). We must learn the secret Paul learned, learn to become content with this feeling. In fact, woe to us if we ever lose the sense of weakness, because it’s the very thing that draws us near to God.

Here are two scriptures that quickly come to mind:

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:8-10, NLT)

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:11-13, NLT)

How about you? Feeling weak and overwhelmed lately? Where does your heart go when you feel this way? May I suggest you go where Paul suggests? I’ve tried to make this my habit now, and it’s made a HUGE difference in my life.

Lord, thank you for creating us this way, as dependent needy creatures. Help us not resent it but see it from Your perspective…as the very thing that draws us closer to You. Thank you for every situation–including the difficult people and circumstances–that make us more aware of our need for You. Fill us with your love and peace, and Your strength. Strengthen our grip on Your Hand. Thank you for always being there, day or night, no matter what. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

(NOTE: To read the other posts in this devotional feature of my blog, select “Perfect Peace — Hope for the Weary Soul” in the Category section.)

***

Dan Walsh: http://danwalshbooks.com

The Dance – Top Pick from RT Reviews/Released April 1st!
The Reunion – 4.5 Stars/Top Pick from RT Reviews
The Discovery – “A sublime delight that shouldn’t be missed.” – USA Today
Remembering Christmas – CBA, ECPA & Amazon Bestseller
The Deepest Waters – 2012 ACFW Carol Award winner

Thanks again Dan Walsh for sharing so much wisdom and thanks blog readers for stopping by.

Holly

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Thumbs Up For FALLING FOR SARAH

07 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by Holly Michael in Books, Guest Author, Weekly Book Review, Writing

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Author Cate Beauman, Blog, Cate Beauman, Falling For Sarah, Holly Michael, intrigue, Novel, review, romance, suspense, www.writingstraight.com

fallingforsarah1Hi writers and readers! Just read: FALLING FOR SARAH by Cate Beauman. Here’s what I think:

thumbs up

 

 

 

 

(Thanks daughter Betsy for the use of your thumbs)

For my Christian reader and writer blog followers, FALLING FOR SARAH does have some rough language and a few steamy scenes, and it certainly puts you into the real world, yet  from page one, this novel captivates with heartwarming scenes, true heroes, and solid oh-so-real characters that stick with you long after the last page. 

As a reader, I was entertained and intrigued. As a writer, I was impressed. Cate Beauman knows how to create intriguing, rich, plotlines. The good guys are  characters you instantly love and root for through their sadness, angst, and issues. And when the villain appears…Oh my! His evilness seeps through the pages and gives you chills. Overall, an excellent read!

And….great news! Author, Cate Beauman is here to talk about FALLING FOR SARAH and the writing process. After that, the first chapter follows. Enjoy!

 

FALLING FOR SARAH

One man’s obsession.  One woman’s nightmare…

Widow Sarah Johnson struggled to pick up the pieces after her life was ripped apart. After two years of grieving, she’s found contentment in her thriving business as photographer to Hollywood’s A-list and in raising her angel-faced daughter, Kylee… until bodyguard and long-time friend Ethan Cooke changes everything with a searing moonlight kiss. 

Sarah’s world turns upside down as she struggles with her unexpected attraction to Ethan and the guilt of betraying her husband’s memory. But when blue roses and disturbing notes start appearing on her doorstep, she has no choice but to lean on Ethan as he fights to save her from a stalker that won’t stop until he has what he prizes most.

***

Now, here’s Cate Beauman! Welcome Cate!

The making of a story…

fallingforsarah2Hello Holly! Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity to share Falling for Sarah, Book Two in The Bodyguards of L.A. County Series, with everyone.

Storytelling is my passion—my obsession, really. I love everything about the process. While writing Morgan’s Hunter, the first novel in The Bodyguards series, I knew I had to tell Ethan and Sarah’s story next, but I didn’t know where to take them. Every good piece of writing is centered around great characters, a strong plotline and gobs and gobs of conflict. I had my characters, but the plotline and conflicts were still iffy until everything changed with a porch beam. 

Yes, you read that right.  I’m addicted to Crime Television and psychology in general.  Late one evening, I finished watching a particularly disturbing documentary on serial killers.  I had the ‘spooks’ and a major need for a glass of water.  I went out to the kitchen and turned on the faucet and freaked myself out when I caught site of our porch beam in the window.  For a moment, I thought someone was standing there peaking in.  Of course, I laughed at myself, shook my head, and got my glass of water, but my imagination started churning.  I asked myself, ‘what would it be like to look up and see someone in your window that didn’t belong? ‘What would it feel like to know someone was constantly watching?’  The next day I started my research on the inner workings of a true sociopath. Falling for Sarah came together quickly after that! 

The Unofficial Falling For Sarah Soundtrack

Music is a huge part of my writing process. I typically listen to Pandora or YouTube and compile a collection of songs that I feel represent my characters or the situations they face as the novel unfolds. It’s a rare occasion that my creativity demands quiet (And that’s a good thing. I’m a mother of two boys. Quiet doesn’t happen in my house.). Here are a few of the songs that ‘spoke’ to me while I created Ethan and Sarah’s story! 

The soundtrack, of sorts, for Falling for Sarah:

  • One Moment More by Mindy Smith
  • Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney
  • Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute
  • Falling In by Lifehouse
  • Into Your Arms by The Maine
  • With You, Tonight by Matt Wertz
  • Edge of Desire by John Mayer
  • Wild Horses by The Sundays
  • Breathe by Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat
  • Far Away by Nickelback

Author Bio: I currently live in Tennessee with my husband, two boys, and our St. Bernard, Bear. I recently resigned from my day job to concentrate on this thing I refer to as ‘My Dream Come True’ career!

I’m a pretty lucky girl; one day I woke up and my entire life changed. I saw the light, so to speak, and decided I was going to be a writer. Now, two years later, I’m working on the fourth novel in my best selling romantic suspense series, The Bodyguards Of L.A. County. 

Here’s chapter one of Falling For Sarah – I hope you enjoy!

September 24, 2010

Sarah Johnson turned the key and opened her front door. She crossed the threshold, breathing in the familiar scent of fresh-cut flowers and the hint of low-tide blowing in from the Pacific. “It’s so nice to be home. Welcome home, sweet baby girl.” She stared at her sleeping newborn, smiled, brushed her lips over the soft skin of the baby’s forehead.

“Look out, coming through,” Ethan Cooke said, loaded down with balloons and vases overflowing with cheerful blooms. “I had no idea bringing a baby home from the hospital required movers.”

Sarah stepped aside, chuckling. “I know. Kylee has quite a fan club already. Let me help you with some of this stuff.”

“I’ve got it. You gave birth yesterday, for God’s sake. The nurse told you to take it easy.” Ethan set the vase on the entryway table, released the balloons to the ceiling as he dropped the diaper bag from his shoulder to the floor. “Besides, Jake would kick my ass if he knew you were hauling things in.”

Sarah’s smile widened as she thought of her husband. “Yes, you’re probably right, but I also know he would be grateful you were able to help me out. My mother wasn’t expecting to run her shop today. Dana called in sick, so that was that.”

Ethan moved closer to her side, stared down at the baby. “I’m happy you called. I wanted to come visit you ladies again last night, but things got a little crazy while I was on duty.” He brushed a finger down Kylee’s tiny nose. “She really is beautiful, Sarah. She looks just like you.”

Sarah’s blue eyes twinkled. “Thank you, but I definitely see some of Jake in her too.” She wrapped her free arm around Ethan’s waist. He returned her embrace and she rested her head against his muscled shoulder. “I’m so happy right now, Ethan, so absolutely happy. Twenty-nine more days and my family will be whole again. I can’t wait to hug Jake and watch his face when he holds her for the first time. I could tell he wanted to crawl through the video conferencing equipment yesterday and touch her tiny fingers and toes.” She looked down at Kylee. “No more deployments for your daddy. He’ll be all ours.”

“He’ll be mine too.” Ethan grinned, wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ve been waiting just as eagerly for Jake’s return. It took me two years to convince him to join my firm. Now I need to get Hunter on board, and the crew will be together again.”

“Getting yourselves into as much trouble as ever, I’m sure. You’ll have to wait a little longer for your new security expert. He’s not leaving my side for at least a week.”

“I think I can live with that.” Ethan kissed her forehead before he started for the door. “Let me get the rest of the stuff from the truck. Then I’ll set up Jake’s surprise.”

“Oh, I can’t wait for him to see it. I’ve nixed the big screen TV idea for so long, I’m pretty sure he’s stopped hoping for one.”

“It’s a beauty, all right. He’ll love it. I’ll have everything hooked up in no time.”

“Great.” Brimming with joy, Sarah kissed her daughter again as Ethan opened the door and went outside.

Sarah took the baby to the nursery she had painstakingly painted on her own. The pale yellow stripes looked wonderful with the touches of pink scattered about the room. She put Kylee to her breast, listening to the door open and slam shut as Ethan brought their items in from his Range Rover. She smiled when she heard him rummage through the cupboards in the kitchen. If he was anything, it was always hungry.

Kylee’s mouth went slack as she fell back to sleep. Sarah fastened her nursing bra, fixed her shirt. She settled Kylee against her shoulder, walked out to the kitchen while she rubbed her daughter’s back, burping her.

Ethan stood in front of the open refrigerator, mumbling his excitement about her stocked shelves. He glanced up, grinned, and she itched for her camera. “Hey, I’m going to make myself a sandwich before I get started on the TV. Want one?”

“No thanks. Do you want me to make it for you?”

“Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

“Why don’t you let me? I have another favor to ask of you. ” She smiled. “The least I can do is make you something to eat.”

Ethan went to the pantry, grabbed a loaf of bread. “Why don’t you tell me what you need?” He pulled open a cupboard, took out a plate.

“A shower.” She smiled again and nibbled at her lip.

Ethan’s eyes zeroed in on Kylee, and he took a step back. “Geez, I don’t know, Sarah. I’ve never held a baby before. What if I drop her?”

A laugh bubbled in her throat at the sheer horror in Ethan’s eyes. Even after he’d helped her through hours of labor, watched her deliver Kylee, and cut the cord in Jake’s honor, he’d refused to hold her.

Sarah walked to where he stood. “You’re not going to drop her. Fold your arm like this.” She held her arm out, bending at the elbow.

Ethan cleared his throat and followed her lead. Sarah placed Kylee in the crook of his rigid arm. He grabbed her hand when Kylee squirmed. “She’s moving, she’s moving. She’s going to fall. Shit, Sarah, I really think this is a bad idea.”

“I think it’s a great idea. Trust me on this one.” She adjusted the baby slightly, moved his arm closer to his body, making sure his hand held Kylee under her diapered bottom. She backed away from them, grinning at the discomfort and mild panic she read all over Ethan’s face. “You’re a natural. Look at you two. I need my camera.”

Ethan groaned as she moved to the pile of bags outside the kitchen door and grabbed her case, pulling her Nikon D3 from the bag. She held the camera up, looked through the lens. For a test shot, she focused on Ethan’s arresting face. Sharp cheekbones and straight black eyebrows accentuated long, thick eyelashes and bold gray eyes. She zoomed in on the clear gray pools surrounded by dark, smoky rings, pressed the shutter closed in rapid succession. His firm, full lips and muscular torso showcased a man perfectly comfortable with his masculinity. She tightened her focus on his big hand holding Kylee’s little body, clicked away again, moved in closer, snapped more, getting lost in her passion for pictures.

“Sarah, do you want that shower or not?”

She pulled the camera back, focused on Ethan’s raised brow and lips pressed firm in annoyance. “Sorry. I got a little carried away. You two make excellent subjects. The camera loves your face.”

“So you’ve told me more times than I can count.”

She placed the Nikon back in the bag, zipped it closed. “You’re doing a great job with her.”

He glanced down at Kylee. “I guess this is okay.”

“See? I’ll be quick. She just ate, so she should sleep. Here’s the burp cloth, just in case she spits up.” Sarah draped the cotton towel over Ethan’s shoulder.

As she backed out of the kitchen, Ethan took a step forward. “Wait. Um, what if she starts to cry?”

Amused by his distress, Sarah couldn’t help but smile. The man standing before her dealt with the scum of the earth every day, yet a seven pound infant brought him to his knees. “Just jiggle your arm a little bit. She’ll fall right back to sleep.” She turned and walked toward the bathroom, called over her shoulder, “Oh, and relax. Babies feel tension.”

************

Alone and mildly terrified, Ethan stared down at the pretty little bundle snuggled against him. Her serene face, a miniature of Sarah’s, was so perfect. She smelled of baby powder and weighed next to nothing.

He began to wiggle his arm, just in case. “I guess this isn’t so bad. Let’s make a deal. If you keep sleeping until your mom comes back, I’ll talk her and your dad into a really kickass swing set for the backyard. It’ll be my present to you.”

Kylee’s lips made a sucking motion as she continued to sleep.

“Okay, I guess that means we have a deal.”

Relaxing with more confidence, Ethan turned back to the counter, attempting to make his sandwich one-handed. He finagled the twist tie from the plastic as Kylee curled closer against him. Startled, he dropped the bread. He bent at the knees to pick up the loaf and Kylee grunted. Seconds later, a small, wet explosion sounded in her diaper. Ethan stopped dead, still crouched. Kylee nuzzled herself against his chest and slept on.

“That couldn’t be good.” He stood, walked toward the bathroom, desperately hoping Sarah was finished. The radio played beyond the closed door as water sprayed into the bathtub.

The baby began to stir and fuss. He jiggled his arm from side to side, but Kylee’s fussing turned into a lusty cry. Panicked, Ethan almost forgot the rules of friendship and rushed into the bathroom. With his hand on the knob, he stopped himself. … Pull it together, Cooke. You’ve got this.

He headed to the pale pink and yellow bedroom, glancing back at the bathroom door wistfully. “Come on, Sarah. Hurry up,” he muttered.

Kylee turned a deep pink as she cried harder. Ethan stared at her mouthful of smooth, toothless gums and tiny fists curled tight as they moved about. “Okay, kid. I guess we don’t have a choice here. Let’s get you changed.” He glanced around the cheerful room with stuffed animals piled next to a rocking chair, zeroed in on the pine changing table. Stacks of diapers and wipes lay tidy on the shelf above.

He awkwardly lay Kylee down on the soft white pad, found a package of unopened diapers, quickly scanned the directions. As Kylee continued to cry, he pulled a diaper off the shelf. “My God, look at these things. My hand’s bigger than this.” He located the sides with the tape, put it down next to her, just like the picture showed. He unbuttoned her sleeper and the white onesie buttoned at her crotch. “How many layers are you wearing?” He pulled the diaper tape next, blew out a breath. “Here goes nothing.”

Ethan eased the diaper away and swore. “…, this isn’t right. It’s black and yellow. I think we need to take you back to the hospital.” He focused on the browning raisin protruding from her stomach. “And look at that thing on your belly button. It didn’t look like that yesterday.” Completely flustered now, he pulled a wad of wipes from the bin, knocked the diaper cream to the floor.

Kylee’s short gasping cries shrilled louder.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, kid. I’m trying my best here. You’re all right.” Ethan took the wipes, moved them over the baby’s bottom. “This stuff’s like cement. Man, I’d rather be in an alley with three UZIs pointed at my head.”

With Kylee’s tiny baby butt clean, Ethan clumsily placed the new diaper under her. He swore again when the tapes faced her stomach. Her legs moved about in her outrage, making it hard to flip the diaper around. “You’re not exactly helping me out, kiddo.” He adjusted the diaper and fastened the tapes.

“There.” Ethan buttoned the onesie, muttered a curse when he mismatched the snaps. “Screw the pink outfit. This will have to do. You’re worked up. I’m worked up.” He placed his hand under Kylee’s neck and head, scooped her bottom up with the other, like he saw Sarah do earlier. Kylee’s cheek rested against his heart and her cries turned to whimpers before they stopped.

“There you go, sweetheart. That was pretty awful, huh? I don’t know about you, but I think I’m going to have nightmares for weeks.” He walked to the rocking chair with Kylee and sat down. His big, callused palm played with the peach fuzz on her head as he moved the chair back and forth. “I think I was about to cry myself. Let’s keep that between us, okay?”

“Here you are.” Sarah peeked in the room with her mass of blonde hair twisted in a towel on top of her head. Her face was left unframed, showcasing big, exotic eyes, high cheekbones, and a lush Cupid’s bow mouth that smiled until she zeroed in on the mess on the changing table. “I see Kylee needed a change.”

“Don’t even ask. It was exhausting and traumatic for both of us.”

She chuckled. “Why don’t I take her?”

“Oh yeah, sure, now that the hard work’s done.”

Sarah reached down, took Kylee, leaving behind the floral scent of her soap.

“Sarah, I don’t know how to say this, but I think there’s something wrong with her.”

Frowning, she pulled the baby back from her shoulder, giving her the once-over. “What is it? What’s wrong with her?”

“Her umbilical cord is brown and her poop’s all gooey and yellow. Blackish stuff was stuck to her butt. I had a hell of a time getting it off.”

Sarah’s shoulders relaxed and her grin returned. “The umbilical cord is drying up and will fall off, the black stuff is meconium, and she’s breastfed. Everything’s perfectly normal.”

As if on cue, Kylee began to cry and root around.

“How do you know all this stuff? You’re so calm. I mean, you’re always calm, but my God, she’s so little and helpless.”

“When you grow up with an obstetrician in your house and your mother is obsessed with children in general, you learn. I’ve been around babies for as long as I can remember.”

Kylee whimpered and sucked on her fist.

“Do you mind if I borrow the rocker? I think she’s ready to eat again.”

“I thought she just did.”

“She’s establishing her milk supply.”

Ethan winced. “Jesus. Let me go take care of the TV for you.”

Sarah sat and began to unbutton her shirt. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Ethan?”

He stepped into the hallway, stopped.

“Your sandwich is on the counter.”

He smiled. “Thanks.”

Ethan brought the sandwich and bowl of fruit salad to the living room. He took a huge bite of turkey, avocado, and tomato before he put the plate on the sturdy oak coffee table. He pulled the tape from the side of the massive box and prepared to set up Jake’s new TV.

While he leafed through the instructions, Sarah’s soft voice cooed to her daughter through the baby monitor. He glanced up from the booklet and around the homey living room, listening to Sarah. A flash of envy for what Jake had snuck up, surprising him. Shaking his head, Ethan looked back at the directions. Marriage and family weren’t for him.

He was screwing the plasma screen on its base when a car pulled up to the curb. “Hey, Sarah, someone’s here.”

“Hailey, the college girl from down the road, was planning on stopping by. She’s desperate to babysit Kylee. You can let her in,” she said into the monitor.

Ethan tightened the last screw, stood. He walked by the large picture window, expecting to see the short, brown haired co-ed. Instead he watched four military men, dressed in dark green and khaki, step from a black sedan. His heart hammered against his ribs, his stomach sank. “Shit, no. Oh my God, no.” He whipped his head around, making sure Sarah wasn’t coming. He yanked the door open, stepped outside, closed it behind him.

As the men approached, Ethan stood in their path as if that would somehow change the news he knew they were here to bring. “What can I do for you?”

The group stopped in front of him. “Is this the home of Mrs. Sarah Johnson?”

“Yes, it is. Is he dead? Is Jake dead?”

“I’m sorry, sir. We need to speak with Mrs. Johnson.”

Ethan saw the apology in the man’s eyes. The sudden grief knocked him back like a heavy blow. Jake had been one of his two best friends for years.

The men tried to move past him. He blocked their way again. As much as he wanted a moment to catch his breath, he needed to protect Sarah more. “Don’t take another step. I get that you can’t tell me, but you’re going to give me a minute to talk to her first. She just gave birth yesterday morning. This is going to crush her.”

“We’re here to offer any support we can, sir.”

Ethan opened the door, let them in before him. “Please, sit down. I’ll go get Sarah.” He walked from the room, started down the hall to the nursery.

Stopping outside the room, Ethan fisted his hands at his side, took a deep breath. Memories flashed through his mind, one after the other, and he braced his hands on the wall. He took another deep breath, trying to steel himself for what had quickly become the hardest moment of his life. He was about to watch Sarah’s life fall apart.

He stepped into Kylee’s room, stopped. Sarah had taken her hair from the towel. Wet ropes of smooth gold rested on her shoulders. Her eyes were closed while Kylee suckled at her breast. If this were a picture, it would be titled ‘Beautiful Serenity’. He was about to destroy it. He took another breath, walked to Sarah’s side, knelt down, took her hand.

Sarah’s eyes flew open, stared into his. “You startled me.” A smile played across her lips before it faded. “What’s wrong?” She sat up straight, broke Kylee’s latch with her finger.

Ethan tightened his grip on her hand, willing her to take all the strength he could give. “Sarah, there are some men waiting for you in the living room. They’re Marines.”

Sarah’s fingers clutched his like a vise before they went lax. The bright, bold blue of her eyes dimmed. “Oh, okay,” she said dully. She stood, covered her breast, pulled Kylee close, automatically burping her.

Ethan draped his arm around her shoulders, walking with her and the baby to the living room. The men stood as they entered and the officer stepped forward.

“Mrs. Johnson, I’m Commander Michael Driggs. I’m here to regretfully inform you that your husband, Gunnery Sergeant Jake Johnson, was killed in action today at 6:34 p.m., Afghanistan time. The United States Marine Corps is truly sorry for your loss and is proud of the service your husband provided our country.”

Sarah stared at the commander for several seconds before she slowly sat down on the couch.

Ethan sat beside her.

She spoke, her voice barely a whisper. “Jake’s gone? He can’t be. He hasn’t held Kylee yet. He’s coming home in twenty-nine days to hold Kylee. He watched me give birth yesterday. He said he was coming home in four weeks.”

Sarah’s face paled with grief. Ethan swore he heard her heart shatter while the commander spoke. Her bubbly vibrancy had been replaced with fragility. He was afraid that if he touched her, she would break into a million pieces.

Ethan glanced at the man who now sat on the other side of Sarah. “Sir, Gunnery Sergeant Hunter Phillips is in Jake’s company. Is there any word on his welfare? He and Jake are—” he closed his eyes on a fresh wave of pain “—were my childhood friends. Hunter is also very close to Sarah.”

“Gunnery Sergeant Phillips was wounded in action. He was shot in the shoulder. He’s out of surgery and is resting comfortably.” Commander Driggs looked at Sarah again. “Sergeant Phillips tried desperately to save your husband, Mrs. Johnson. Is there anyone we can call for you at this time?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t think.” She looked at Ethan, lost. “I can’t think right now. I don’t want to do this. I want to be alone.”

He couldn’t stand to see her like this. He put his arm around her, pulled her close, pressed his forehead to her hair. “Okay, you don’t have to. I’ll take care of everything. Go lay down.”

The men stood when she took the baby and walked from the room.

“I’m sorry, Commander, gentlemen, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Do you have a card or a number I can take from you? I’ll have Sarah’s father call you as soon as I get a hold of him.”

“Of course, sir.”

Ethan took the card, walked them to the door, shut it behind them. He went to the small desk, found Sarah’s parents’ number programmed into the phone, and called.

************

Sarah lay Kylee in her crib, covered her with a light blanket. Her daughter slept soundly in the center of the mattress, unaware that their lives were forever changed. She stared at the photograph of Jake hanging on the wall above the crib. She had taken the picture the day before he left to finish his deployment, before they were aware they’d made Kylee. His big, cheesy grin and smiling brown eyes filled the frame. Oh God, Jake. You’re gone. How can you be gone? I need you. I can’t do this by myself.

The dredges of shocked disbelief were melting away. Panic and dread quickly took their place. How was she going to live without him? Sarah glanced down at Kylee again as a thought circled through her mind. It brought such crushing pain she could hardly breathe. They would never meet. Jake would never touch the daughter he had helped create. Kylee would be robbed of ever knowing her father’s love.

Jake’s deep, infectious laugh echoed in her head and Sarah buckled. She would never hear it again. He would never kiss her or hold her again. Her breath shuddered in and out.

Ethan’s hands rested on her shoulders and she flinched. He turned her toward him. She stared into his eyes, saw the grief settled there, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Tell me this isn’t real, Ethan. Please tell me this isn’t real,” she said on a sob.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. “Come here.” He picked her up, sat with her in the rocking chair. Her long legs hung over the side, just skimming the floor as the chair swayed back and forth. Ethan cradled her close to his chest.

Finding comfort in the arms of her friend, Sarah wept as Ethan’s hand ran through her damp hair. “He’s really gone. I can’t believe he’s really gone.”

He lifted her chin as he spoke, choking on his own sorrow. “I’m making a promise to you right now, Sarah. You’ll never be alone through this. I’ll be here for you every step of the way, for as long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you.”

“Then I’ll always be here.” He rested her head against his chest again as their tears fell, mixing together on the hands they held clutched together.

***

Did you enjoy chapter 1?  You can read the next four chapters on Cate Beauman’s:  website, www.catebeauman.com, or you can finish the whole book here!

 

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Done this: Regular freelance ghostwriter and online editor for Guideposts for Teens/Sweet 16 Magazine, creator/editor of a magazine for Wal-Mart Corp., journalist, newspaper features writer, published in a variety of national magazines and local newspapers, script writing/editing for corporations. Doing this now: author of fiction and nonfiction, blogger, and editor of Koinonia Magazine. I’m the wife of Rt. Rev. Leo Michael, an Anglican Bishop in the Holy Catholic Church-Anglican Rite. Mom to three great kids: Nick (#81 Rajin Cajuns), Betsy (Super cute professor) and Jake (T1D & NFL player) Also, enjoy my travels extensively across the United States and internationally.

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