Tag Archives: Deacon Alfred Sturges

Christmas Challenge: Romans, Day 16 – Last Chapter! – MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

24 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by in 16 Chapters to Christmas, Christianity

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I’m a bit sad that this is the last chapter of Romans, but pretty excited about Christmas! Thank you Deacon Alfred Sturges for presenting this Christmas Challenge. I have enjoyed reading and contemplating on each chapter of Paul to the Romans and I can truly say that it has prepared my heart for Christmas. Incredible wisdom. Merry Christmas to all and thank you for following. In honor of St. Paul, here’s a stained glass window (St. Paul) from our church, St. Jame’s Anglican, where my husband serves as bishop and rector, followed by the last chapter and a short reflection:stpauls

Romans 16

Good News Translation (GNT)

Personal Greetings

16 I recommend to you our sister Phoebe, who serves the church at Cenchreae. 2 Receive her in the Lord’s name, as God’s people should, and give her any help she may need from you; for she herself has been a good friend to many people and also to me.

3 I send greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in the service of Christ Jesus; 4 they risked their lives for me. I am grateful to them—not only I, but all the Gentile churches as well.5 Greetings also to the church that meets in their house.

Greetings to my dear friend Epaenetus, who was the first in the province of Asia to believe in Christ.6 Greetings to Mary, who has worked so hard for you. 7 Greetings also to Andronicus and Junia, fellow Jews who were in prison with me; they are well known among the apostles, and they became Christians before I did.

8 My greetings to Ampliatus, my dear friend in the fellowship of the Lord. 9 Greetings also to Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ’s service, and to Stachys, my dear friend. 10 Greetings to Apelles, whose loyalty to Christ has been proved. Greetings to those who belong to the family of Aristobulus.11 Greetings to Herodion, a fellow Jew, and to the Christians in the family of Narcissus.

12 My greetings to Tryphaena and Tryphosa, who work in the Lord’s service, and to my dear friend Persis, who has done so much work for the Lord. 13 I send greetings to Rufus, that outstanding worker in the Lord’s service, and to his mother, who has always treated me like a son. 14 My greetings to Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and all the other Christians with them. 15 Greetings to Philologus and Julia, to Nereus and his sister, to Olympas and to all of God’s people who are with them.

16 Greet one another with the kiss of peace. All the churches of Christ send you their greetings.

stpaull

Final Instructions

17 I urge you, my friends: watch out for those who cause divisions and upset people’s faith and go against the teaching which you have received. Keep away from them! 18 For those who do such things are not serving Christ our Lord, but their own appetites. By their fine words and flattering speech they deceive innocent people. 19 Everyone has heard of your loyalty to the gospel, and for this reason I am happy about you. I want you to be wise about what is good, but innocent in what is evil. 20 And God, our source of peace, will soon crush Satan under your feet.

romans16

The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

21 Timothy, my fellow worker, sends you his greetings; and so do Lucius, Jason, and Sosipater, fellow Jews.

22 I, Tertius, the writer of this letter, send you Christian greetings.

23 My host Gaius, in whose house the church meets, sends you his greetings; Erastus, the city treasurer, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings. 24 

Concluding Prayer of Praise

25 Let us give glory to God! He is able to make you stand firm in your faith, according to the Good News I preach about Jesus Christ and according to the revelation of the secret truth which was hidden for long ages in the past. 26 Now, however, that truth has been brought out into the open through the writings of the prophets; and by the command of the eternal God it is made known to all nations, so that all may believe and obey.

paulwriting

27 To the only God, who alone is all-wise, be glory through Jesus Christ forever! Amen.

romans16.25

What more can be said, but the last line: To the only God, who is all-wise, be glory through Jesus Christ, forever! Amen! Alleluia! Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone!

But wait, there’s more! Here’s a lovely Christmas song for you, my favorite! O Holy, Night. Merry Christmas to you and yours from Bishop Leo and Holly Michael, and Jake, Betsy and Nick!

 

 

 

Christmas Challenge: Romans, Day 6 – Horrific Loss, Grief, and Comfort

14 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by in 16 Chapters to Christmas, Christianity, Inspiration, Prayers Needed

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Christmas Challenge: Romans, Chapter 6

Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ

Thanks for joining me on Day 6 of Deacon Alfred’s Challenge to read Romans: A chapter a day, each day, to Christmas. I’ll post the Chapter, then a short reflection at the end. Whether you are following every chapter, stopping by occasionally, or just reading this one time, I pray that God will bless you through His Word. Today, while considering what Paul is saying in Chapter 6, I’m reflecting on the horrific school shootings. I pray for the families of the victims and hope that somehow God’s word can ease the pain we all feel in our hearts at this unthinkable crime.

Here’s Romans: Chapter 6

6 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3 Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Slaves to Righteousness

15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

19 I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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My thoughts: It’s very difficult to offer encouraging words, given the news about the school shooting in Connecticut. But, perhaps sin, death, hell, and the gift of eternal life are helpful topics to consider today.

Paul basically says that believers must die to sin and live to God. Because we are baptized in Christ, we have a union with Christ. We are alive to God and free from the dominion of sin. The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Regarding the school shootings, my first thought is a visual image of that man who shot those kids being grabbed by demons and dragged into hell like how it was done in the scene from Patrick Swayze’s movie, Ghost. But God is that young man’s judge, not me. On the other hand, maybe it’s better that we replace that image, with an image of the children who were killed, all together in Heaven, celebrating this Christmas with Jesus. Like this:

Jesus and Childfen

Or this:

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Maybe they get a real life look at the stable scene…

vintage_religious_christmas_nativity_baby_jesus_placemat-rf42a23c68a89449686a5c3c3b89843a0_2cfku_8byvr_512

white-jesus-001

For sure, Jesus will love them. Jesus will care for them. So, in my heart, I have comfort that Our Lord, Jesus will take care of those babies. The pain and suffering remains here on earth, in the hearts of their loved ones.

When I was fifteen, I lost my beloved six-year-old sister to a horrible death. Knowing I was losing it, a friend took me to church to talk to the pastor. I asked him questions about death and where my sister was.

I’ll never forget his words, “She’s with God, our Loving Father, and He’s the best caretaker there is.” Those words really helped me at a time when I thought I couldn’t go on. I had been her caretaker. I found comfort knowing she was okay, more than okay. I needed to hear that. So, I determined that if she was okay, then I would be okay, too. God helped me through those days, continued to be with me, and has never left me. I look forward to the day I see our Lord and my sweet sister Amy again.

Bringing Romans 6 back into this topic. Paul says, “Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”

We have been brought from death to life, everlasting life. Sin, whatever sin we struggle with, can not be our master. But it’s not a sin to grieve. Grieving is a God-given emotion. We should grieve and I pray that all those grieving the horrific loss of their child or loved one, will find comfort during their moments of grief. I pray God will soften the pain, give them strength to go on, and guide them closer to His heart.

Considering what Paul says to the Romans, even though we may struggle and suffer from the consequences of the horrible sins of others, we can’t let the sin of hate, guilt, anger, or whatever enter our hearts or turn us from God. These kinds of sins or any other sin, should not dominate our thoughts or lives. God didn’t make this happen. He gives humans free will. But God will deal with that shooter and all others who harm the innocent. The Bible assures us of that. As for us: We have been united with Christ in a death (He died for our sins) we shall be united with Him in resurrection (new life in Heaven).

On a final note: One day, while driving to the grocery store, my youngest son, Nick (four at the time), out of the blue asked me this question: “Mom, what happens when we die.” While I pondered, wondering about this profound question and how best to answer it to a preschooler, he said, “Never mind, Mom. I know. Jesus comes and takes our hand.” Bingo! That is an image I want to keep in my mind.

Jesus holds our hands now, during our difficult times and He will take all of our hands one day and lead us to verdant pastures. Let His Peace comfort us all now. Dear Father, in the Name of Jesus, please embrace the victims of this shooting into your loving arms. And, be with and bless each person who grieves the loss of a loved one during this Christmas season. Amen.

Christmas Challenge: Romans, Day 4

12 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by in 16 Chapters to Christmas, Christianity, Family, Football, Jake Byrne

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It’s Day 4 of Deacon Alfred Sturges’ challenge to read a chapter of Romans each day until Christmas. If you missed earlier chapters, you can find them on this blog under the category of 16 Chapters to Christmas. If you just want to join me for today, that’s fine, too. Here’s the chapter and below is my reflection.

Romans 4

New International Version (NIV)

Abraham Justified by Faith

What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather according to the flesh, discovered in this matter? 2 If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about—but not before God. 3 What does Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

4 Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. 5 However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness. 6 David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the one to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

7 “Blessed are those
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
8 Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord will never count against them.”

9 Is this blessedness only for the circumcised, or also for the uncircumcised? We have been saying that Abraham’s faith was credited to him as righteousness. 10 Under what circumstances was it credited? Was it after he was circumcised, or before? It was not after, but before! 11 And he received circumcision as a sign, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised. So then, he is the father of all who believe but have not been circumcised, in order that righteousness might be credited to them. 12 And he is then also the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised but who also follow in the footsteps of the faith that our father Abraham had before he was circumcised.

13 It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. 14 For if those who depend on the law are heirs, faith means nothing and the promise is worthless, 15 because the law brings wrath.And where there is no law there is no transgression.

16 Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who have the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. 17 As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.

18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” 19 Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” 23 The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, 24 but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. 25 He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.

My thoughts: Still traveling today, on the way to Saint Gabriel’s Anglican Church in Greeley, Colorado for another Our Lady of Guadalupe Mass. Here’s my reflection on  Romans 4:

Back to the circumcision, Abraham was “justified” before his circumcision, so again, I’m understanding that matters of faith go deeper than circumcision, works, or other rituals. It comes down to faith. Abraham, it is said, had nothing to boast in the presence of God, but being saved by grace, through faith. Abraham is the spiritual forefather of all believers, an example of obedient faith.

Being a mom, I’ve always struggled with the thought of Abraham being able to obediently follow God to the point of offering his own child. But, I certainly understand the need for our faith to be so submissive to God’s will, that we are able to say (and truly mean), “Okay Lord. I’m offering this situation to You in total faith. May Your Will be done.”

I remember my first real grown-up prayer like that. It was a result of waking up on blood-soaked sheets, cramping in pain. I was three months pregnant. After being admitted in the hospital, the doctor affirmed I was miscarrying. I argued with God. He created me with a super strong maternal nature. I already loved this baby. Why was he taking my first child away? I wanted to be a mom more than anything.

It took one word from a sweet nurse (or maybe she was an angel) to change my argumentative prayers and hopeless wailing into a humble prayer of submission; Hope. The nurse had said, “always have hope.” That was it.

I pondered on that word, then realized that hope meant giving a hopeless situation to God and trusting in the outcome, no matter what the outcome might be. I was scared, sad, and alone in that hospital. I lifted my heart to God and gave the situation to Him completely and wholeheartedly, by some grace. I dedicated the baby to God, placing my unborn, but already loved child in His hands. I prayed, “Whatever the outcome, Lord, I trust that it will be Your will. I trust You completely. Though I will be sad if I miscarry, I will understand that it was Your decision. This baby is Yours Lord.”

Immediately after my Amen, total peace washed over me. The bleeding ceased. I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. The medical staff was shocked. (I never again saw that angelic nurse who seemed more concerned about my emotional and spiritual health than my physical health.)

Here’s that baby: jakecute

The outcome of that prayer was fantastic. Jake is a wonderful son and I’m thankful to God for him and for my other two children, Nick and Betsy. I found peace in that moment because I’d submitted this child to God in faith and let go, trusting that only God could help me. God made a decision. It was good. But, I also know the flip-side of the same situation.

A few years after Jake was born, I had a miscarriage. I’d offered a similar prayer and dedicated that baby to the Lord. I also experienced a profound sense of peace with this outcome. I accepted in faith, that this child returned to the Lord. I don’t know why it happened like that. I left it with God. I’ve suffered other great losses and pain in my life, but I trust that God, our Loving Father is always in control. He has given me a profound sense of peace through everything.

Though the rituals (Baptism, Confirmation, etc.) are outward signs of inward grace, making us new creatures in Christ, our complete submissive faith in God in all situations, is what I believe makes us righteousness before God.  And of course, doing good “works” would be the natural result of being a Christian, though I don’t believe we are justified by the merits of our own works.

Reading Scripture, (thanks for this challenge Deacon Alfred) helps me understand the promises of Christ, and hold to them through everything.

The last line of this chapter says it all: “He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.”

So, we are not justified by the merit of our own works, but by faith in Jesus Christ and his righteousness. We have salvation because of Jesus Christ. Through His death and passion, he paid our debt, discharged us from the guilt and punishment of all our sins. Thanks be to God.

Christmas Challenge: Romans, Day 2

10 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by in 16 Chapters to Christmas, Christianity

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Thanks for coming back today! It’s “DAY TWO” of Deacon Alfred’s Challenge: 16 Chapters to Christmas. The challenge is to read the entire book of Romans, all sixteen chapters, from December 9th until Christmas, based on St. Augustine’s conversion after reading the letters of St. Paul to the Romans. If you didn’t read the first chapter, you can do so at Biblegateway.com or by clicking here and reading yesterday’s blog post. Or, just take the challenge for today and read this chapter.

Here’s Romans, Chapter 2 (today I’m using the NRSV)

The Righteous Judgment of God

Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things. 2 You say, “We know that God’s judgment on those who do such things is in accordance with truth.” 3 Do you imagine, whoever you are, that when you judge those who do such things and yet do them yourself, you will escape the judgment of God? 4 Or do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? 5 But by your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. 6 For he will repay according to each one’s deeds: 7 to those who by patiently doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; 8 while for those who are self-seeking and who obey not the truth but wickedness, there will be wrath and fury. 9 There will be anguish and distress for everyone who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, 10 but glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. 11 For God shows no partiality.

12 All who have sinned apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but the doers of the law who will be justified. 14 When Gentiles, who do not possess the law, do instinctively what the law requires, these, though not having the law, are a law to themselves. 15 They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, to which their own conscience also bears witness; and their conflicting thoughts will accuse or perhaps excuse them 16 on the day when, according to my gospel, God, through Jesus Christ, will judge the secret thoughts of all.

The Jews and the Law

17 But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast of your relation to God 18 and know his will and determine what is best because you are instructed in the law, 19 and if you are sure that you are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, 20 a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth, 21 you, then, that teach others, will you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? 22 You that forbid adultery, do you commit adultery? You that abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23 You that boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? 24 For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”

25 Circumcision indeed is of value if you obey the law; but if you break the law, your circumcision has become uncircumcision. 26 So, if those who are uncircumcised keep the requirements of the law, will not their uncircumcision be regarded as circumcision? 27 Then those who are physically uncircumcised but keep the law will condemn you that have the written code and circumcision but break the law. 28 For a person is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is true circumcision something external and physical. 29 Rather, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly, and real circumcision is a matter of the heart—it is spiritual and not literal. Such a person receives praise not from others but from God.

*****

That’s a big chunk of holy wisdom to bite at once, so I’ll break it down.

scoldRomans 2:1-16. Go Paul! Way to rip into those self-righteous people in Rome, thinking they’re all holy n’stuff. Oh boy! God is going to judge you people by your hearts, and not by what privileges you all think you’re entitled to because of your social status. Shame, Shame, puppy shame! I’m glad I’m not one of them. Oops. Was I judging? Yikes. Better be careful. I think we were talking about this in yesterday’s blog, weren’t we?

Anyway, what I think Paul is saying here is that each time we knowingly screw up, we disrespect God’s goodness and that’s well…not good. It all boils down to not loving God enough to do the right thing. So we have to be sorry, and I mean really really sorry. And don’t just tell me your sorry because I told you to say it! You’d better mean it! And I mean, really, really mean it! I’m not seeing that you mean it! (oops, the mom in me is coming out).

puppy_im_sorryAs I was saying…we have to be truly sorry, sorry enough to actually make a change based on pure motives to change and nothing else.

Stuff like “wrath, fury, anguish, and distress” is just not happy stuff. Best to be avoided. Those words above can’t mean anything good, whether a Jew, Greek, Black White, Latino, or whatever your color. God won’t care about our skin tone when he judges. Wrath, fury, anguish, and distress will rain on everyone. So, regardless of our race, social status, or size of our bank account, our conscience should guide us and help us avoid a downpour that we don’t want to be caught up in on judgment day.

bad weather

On December 25th, we celebrate the coming of Christ as an innocent baby.

baby_jesus_5When Jesus comes again, he’s not coming like an innocent baby. He’s coming as the just judge. If we do good in secret, we will be rewarded, and all those sins that we think we got away with, guess what? They’re coming back like those crazy candles you blow out on cakes that re-ignite. Oops!

candles

And my thoughts on Roman’s 2:17-24

Did we not learn anything since the time Paul ripped into the people in Rome? This passage ends with, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that people don’t go to church because of the so-called “Christians” that they know. I’m probably one of those Christians.

better-than-youI’m a church-goer who hasn’t always and doesn’t always act like a Christian. I say the “creed” each Sunday, I know the ten commandments, I listen to The Word. Do I really follow all that Jesus commands? Hmm…. This so not an excuse, but a good friend told me once, “Church is a hospital for sinners and not a hotel for saints.” Okay, but if that’s the case, I kind of want to get well and not die in that hospital.

No wonder people are disillusioned with church. They get that sitting in a pew each Sunday doesn’t make people better Christians. But why doesn’t it? It should, right? We need to ask ourselves what we can do about this epidemic. Spiritual pride is the most dangerous of all kinds of pride. The last thing Christians need to do is blasphemy God. Makes sense, right?

Finally, the last passages: Romans 2:25-29. What do they mean to me. 

These scripture passages talks about circumcision, but consider any Christian ritual and what it should mean. Now, as an Anglican, I’m all for the sacraments of baptism and confirmation. These Christian rituals and others should change us. Real Christians are Christians outwardly and inwardly. A person whom I know, baptized as an infant, was church-shopping. She told me, “I got saved in church last week, then when out and committed probably the worst sin I’ve ever committed.” This person ended up getting re-baptized at three different churches. She said she was told her first baptism, in the name of the “Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” didn’t count because the name, “Jesus,” was not said. Another church had issues with sprinkling versus dunking. And I can’t even remember what the other issues were. Sheesh! C’mon people! In the end, it’s going to be all about “if” the rituals really changed our hearts. Let’s not make a mockery of our Christian rituals and sacraments.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on what this chapter means to you. Thanks for sticking with me through Day 2. See ya tomorrow!

Christmas Challenge: Romans, Day 1

09 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by in 16 Chapters to Christmas, Christianity

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Who doesn’t love a beautiful, heart wrenching, story, rich with poetic imagery, deep emotion, love, and even a happy ending? I was enraptured by one such reflection today during the sermon at Holy Mass; The words of St. Augustine, regarding his conversion, from The Confessions of St. Augustine.

confess

This powerful, heartfelt reflection concluded with a child leading the way. As a writer, lover of The Word, and of words, I was enraptured by St. Augustine’s own account of his conversion. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it too.

After posting the word’s of St. Augustine below, I’ll explain the challenge from one of our Deacons, Deacon Alfred Sturges. I’m hoping you’ll join me in the challenge, after reading St. Augustine’s words:

I came to Carthage, where a caldron of unholy loves was seething and bubbling all around me. I was not in love as yet, but I was in love with love; and, from a hidden hunger, I hated myself for not feeling more intensely a sense of hunger. I was looking for something to love, for I was in love with loving, and I hated security and a smooth way, free from snares. Within me I had a dearth of that inner food which is thyself, my God–although that dearth caused me no hunger. And I remained without any appetite for incorruptible food–not because I was already filled with it, but because the emptier I became the more I loathed it. Because of this my soul was unhealthy; and, full of sores, it exuded itself forth, itching to be scratched by scraping on the things of the senses. Yet, had these things no soul, they would certainly not inspire our love. To love and to be loved was sweet to me, and all the more when I gained the enjoyment of the body of the person I loved. Thus I polluted the spring of friendship with the filth of concupiscence and I dimmed its luster with the slime of lust. Yet, foul and unclean as I was, I still craved, in excessive vanity, to be thought elegant and urbane. And I did fall precipitately into the love I was longing for. My God, my mercy, with how much bitterness didst thou, out of thy infinite goodness, flavor that sweetness for me! For I was not only beloved but also I secretly reached the climax of enjoyment; and yet I was joyfully bound with troublesome tics, so that I could be scourged with the burning iron rods of jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and strife.  From: Augustine, Account of His Own Conversion.

augustine-of-hippo

Continuing with Augustine’s confession and how a child’s chant changed everything…

… 28. Now when deep reflection had drawn up out of the secret depths of my soul all my misery and had heaped it up before the sight of my heart, there arose a mighty storm, accompanied by a mighty rain of tears. That I might give way fully to my tears and lamentations, I stole away from Alypius, for it seemed to me that solitude was more appropriate for the business of weeping. I went far enough away that I could feel that even his presence was no restraint upon me. This was the way I felt at the time, and he realized it. I suppose I had said something before I started up and he noticed that the sound of my voice was choked with weeping. And so he stayed alone, where we had been sitting together, greatly astonished. I flung myself down under a fig tree — how I know not — and gave free course to my tears. The streams of my eyes gushed out an acceptable sacrifice to thee. And, not indeed in these words, but to this effect, I cried to thee: “And thou, O Lord, how long? How long, O Lord? Wilt thou be angry forever? Oh, remember not against us our former iniquities.”[259] For I felt that I was still enthralled by them. I sent up these sorrowful cries: “How long, how long? Tomorrow and tomorrow? Why not now? Why not this very hour make an end to my uncleanness?” 29. I was saying these things and weeping in the most bitter contrition of my heart, when suddenly I heard the voice of a boy or a girl I know not which — coming from the neighboring house, chanting over and over again, “Pick it up, read it; pick it up, read it.”

[260] Immediately I ceased weeping and began most earnestly to think whether it was usual for children in some kind of game to sing such a song, but I could not remember ever having heard the like. So, damming the torrent of my tears, I got to my feet, for I could not but think that this was a divine command to open the Bible and read the first passage I should light upon. … So I quickly returned to the bench where Alypius was sitting, for there I had put down the apostle’s book when I had left there. I snatched it up, opened it, and in silence read the paragraph on which my eyes first fell: “Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof.”[263] I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to. For instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away.[264]. From: St. Augustine’s Confessions

During the sermon at St. James Anglican Church today, Bishop Leo Michael explained that St. Augustine read the words from St. Paul’s letter to the Romans and converted. Prior to St. Augustine’s conversion it’s said that he practiced, “loose living, which included parties, entertainment, and worldly ambitions.”

And now the CHALLENGE: challenge

Bishop Michael also spoke about taking up a challenge given by Deacon Alfred Sturges to his congregation at our church, St. Gabriel’s Holy Catholic Church, Anglican Rite in Greeley, Colorado. The challenge is to read the book of Romans. (One chapter a day for 16 days, now to Christmas.) I accepted the challenge and am going to push myself further by posting each chapter, each day, on my blog, until Christmas, along with my very short reflection. So, you’re welcome to join me in this challenge and journey. I pray the Lord converts all of our hearts, as He converted St. Augustine’s heart.

Now, today being the second Sunday in Advent and Holy Scripture Sunday, I’ll post THE COLLECT (a short prayer, assigned to a particular day or season, offered by the priest, to the Lord, on the behalf of the people): Blessed Lord, who hast caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning; Grant that we may in such wise hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that by patience and comfort of thy holy Word, we may embrace, and ever hold fast, the blessed hope of everlasting life, which thou hast given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ. Who liveth and reigneth with thee, in the unity of the Holy Ghost, ever one God, world without end. Amen. 

And now, here’s the first chapter of Romans, from the KJV Bible:

biblePaul, a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated unto the gospel of God, (Which he had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures,) Concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh; And declared to be the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead: By whom we have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for his name: Among whom are ye also the called of Jesus Christ: To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world. For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers; Making request, if by any means now at length I might have a prosperous journey by the will of God to come unto you. For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.

Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles. I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise. So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

word_challenge_faqAnd now my short short reflection. (Disclaimer: I’m not the theologian in the family. That’d be my husband, Bishop Leo Michael).

In this chapter, I “hear” the love Paul has for Jesus Christ, and for the Romans, but he gives a warning to those who supposedly “know” God, but don’t glorify God, and are not thankful to God. He says God basically says, “I’m done with you people.” Then God gives people up to their sinful practices. The big message in this for me is that if we don’t stay thankful, humble, and continue to worship God, he leaves us alone to our devices. For me, I am nothing without God. All the good in me comes from God. I can’t write my books, I can’t have healthy relationships, I basically can’t function without the Spirit of God guiding me. It’s a sobering message that this could all be taken away, if I don’t follow Christ as He commands. What do you take from the first chapter of Romans? See you tomorrow!