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Our friend, Vicky, tells my husband and I she’s on a bus, traveling. She wants to get to her final destination, only she’s not sure where the bus is headed.
On Wednesday, Vicky went on life support following a massive cardiac arrest incident and multiple organ failure. Vicky has no family, no living will. On Thursday, the medical staff made a decision to stop life support. The tube was removed and the doctors concurred that she could not survive. After several hours, extremely dehydrated but alive, Vicky opened her eyes and said, “I want to live!”
With those words, the atmosphere in the ICU changed. Bright lights. Busy staff. Medical procedures.
Vicky needs a new heart, but she’s not a candidate, given her damaged and failing organs. No one can explain why she’s alive. But she is. Vicky has a brilliant mind, even now. She’s a deep thinker, even now. She’s an educated, vibrant, witty woman, who can crack a joke, even now.
But Vicky also cries often. She has a sensitive heart, maybe too sensitive. Her wounds, going back to her childhood, are deep and like open sores that she shows to us from her hospital bed in the ICU.
She’s the same Vicky we’ve known, but the ammonia build-up in her liver causes her confusion. She thinks she’s on a bus, or perhaps a train, she says. But she feels as if she’s traveling. “What’s happened to me?” She often asks, especially after waking. “Where am I?” Where are we going?”
When the tsunami hit South India, in 2004, Vicky was instrumental in our church’s major fundraising event. Vicky came along with my husband and I to India. Together, we walked through devastated remote villages and shed tears on beaches that had become cemeteries dotted with coconut sapling gravestones. Vicky hugged children, prayed for the wounded and was a trooper through horrendous conditions.
Now, Vicky hugs us and says she loves us. She jokes, smiles, chats, and contemplates on her past, and often cries, touching the sandalwood rosary around her neck that she purchased during our mission trip to India in 2004.
Please pray for Vicky. I’m not sure why shy can’t get off the bus she thinks she’s on and why she can’t reach her final destination. I wish and pray she could survive and be the full and complete person God meant her to be. I want her to live. The medical staff says she has zero chance of recovery. She has the will to live, but so do many others who still die. God is a factor in why she is surviving. We can’t get anywhere on our own. There is more going on, spiritually, in this situation than I can wrap my mind around.
I just don’t want Vicky to remain stuck on this bus going nowhere, sad and confused.
Tonight she told us she wants to go home, but she says she’s stuck in a bizarre situation, in a house with three girls who say they are nurses, but she knows it’s not so. She says her house needs to be cleaned and she’s really worried about that mess.
Please pray for Vicky. Pray to God that she can find peace and healing so that she can reach her final destination. Pray for God’s mercy for Vicky, for God’s Grace and for Jesus to take her where she needs to be.
I am human. I am frail. I am sad. I am not the driver of this bus.
Amen to your prayers holly. Terrible situation.
Rich
thanks Rich. Appreciate your kind words.
I’m sure God is the driver of Vicky’s bus. Through his mercy he will be with her wherever he had decided she should be. I pray that wherever her destination may by God will comfort her and if her destination is with Him in Glory He will comfort you in the knowledge that she is at peace.
Steve, bless you and thank you for your comforting words. It’s all very heartbreaking.
Holly, what happened to put Vicky in this state of declined health? I will certainly be praying for all the things you mentioned but also that God’s will may be done!
God bless Vicky. She rests eternally in His Arms, whether here on earth or in Heaven. We all do. xx
Very touching. God bless!
Thanks Lada, I’m very sad for her situation.
Poor woman. I sincerely hope she can move on with dignity and love. You have a wonderful and compassionate heart, Holly. Thank you for this post and your beautiful blog!
Love,
Lada 🙂
P.S. I am writing about people with true inner beauty and compassionate hearts in my new fantasy/sci-fi short, Catharsis (Earth Keepers Chronicles: Book 1), release 9/13/12. More on my blog or website http://www.ladaray.com/earth-keepers-chronicles.html
Sounds great Lada, I’ll check it out now. I’ve been so behind in my reading and doing reviews that perhaps it’d be good to at least more forward to doing something for you with this one. Sounds great. Let me know how I can help with the release.
Hi Holly, this is very nice of you. Thank you for the offer. I left you a message on your About page. 🙂
Praying, my friend, for your friend, and our sister, Vicky.
Bless you Becky!
Praying for Vicky, Holly.
Thanks Heidi, Vicky is very pro-life and I remember how upset she was about the Terry Shivo case. It was really sad to see her being allowed to die, and we could do nothing about it. But she came back, even if for a little while.
So moving, and yes, just our prayers…
Thank you very much
Holly, my prayers for Vicky and for you as well. I think you should write down what she’s saying when you can. Perhaps keep a journal close by to record her bus ride. Perhaps it’s significant…Just a thought that came to me after reading your post. Hugs to all. xo
Thats a very good idea. She’s been speaking very profoundly. I should keep track of it all.
Praying desperately
Thank you Dave. You know all about miracles!
The Driver of the bus holds V icky safely in His arms. Prayers for your friend and for you.
Thanks and God Bless you!
May Vicky find peace at last!
Thanks Hugh
The mysterious God of the universe has His reasons for every event in life. He doesn’t owe us an explanation. It’s times like this that He’s testing our trust.
My heart is breaking along with yours right now. I’m praying for Vicky to be ‘home’ soon, wherever God decides that will be. I trust Him.
Wade, God bless you and thank you for your prayers. I am so happy you are praying for her along with me. I am asking for lots of help from Heaven right now.
A story so full of emotion. It seems that God has decided it’s not quite time for her to come home just yet. Maybe it is for others that He has chosen this. I will pray for Vicky for her healing in whatever form that happens but for this confusion that seems to distress her somewhat to go away, so that she might be as much at peace as it possible….Diane
Thanks Diane, It’s a tough time. I am very sad for her and pray for God’s mercy.
How this wrenched my heart. Thank you for sharing this wonderful and touching story. In reading this all I could think about was, “How God is with this wonderful lady.” I will pray and God Bless, SR
Thank you, SR
I agree with all of the comments above. It is a sad situation. Perhaps in her more lucid moments you can encourage her to forgive the perpetrators of her childhood wounds . If they are still open and sore, she most likely hasn’t gone through the process of forgiveness, fully.
Been there, done that, now free from the weight.
Childhood and beyond. She’s a wounded soul. I do pray God fully restores her.
Praying for Vicky…thanks for sharing Holly 🙂
Thanks for praying Lorna
Ah, poor Vicky. How sad. And how poignantly you pen the stark reality – none of us are the driver of the bus. We were never in control, not for one moment…
Thanks for commenting, Melody. I agree…and yet it’s hard to let go of control and let Jesus take the wheel. I’ve had to do this, realizing, I am helpless in this.
That hurts, doesn’t it? Ouch. Funny how the feeling of helplessness makes our helplessness so stark, when the reality of it hasn’t changed at all.
Praying — peace be with her. Could be the Lord has something for her to learn before she joins Him…
Perhaps, or something for others to learn. Either way, He is in control.
Very touching! I am sending prayers her way, and your way, too.
Thanks. I so appreciate the prayers right now for her and for me. Bless you
Father in Heaven, How we praise you that you are aware of Vicki’s plight and Holly’s concern for her. Father we pray for healing either here or in heaven and especially for peace for Vicki, Holly, and those who are caring for her. In Jesus name, amen.
Thank you for your prayers Glenda. They mean a lot to me.
May Vicki place her hand in the hand of the Master. When He leads she need have no fear. Lord reveal yourself to her, comfort her and reassure her.
What a lovely, prayer. God bless you. I am going to repeat this prayer often. Thank you so much!
My Prayers are for Vicky. And for your strength.
Thanks for your prayers! They are needed and appreciated!
Thank you, Holly, for letting me know what happened to Vickie! What a sad life for a young woman! It breaks my heart, and I don’t even know her! I have been praying for her and YOU, too. You have such a servant-heart, full of compassion and love! I am very interested in what some others have said about Vickie still needing to forgive some perpetrators of her wounds. Who really knows? She may be doing that very thing in her heart and on this journey that seems to go on and on! God *is* at the wheel and He will carry her safely home when he is ready. I’m sure that all of her caregivers are learning some things along this journey, as well! God bless you for posting this, Holly!
Judy,thank you so much for this sweet, comforting comment. God is at the wheel. Maybe it’s all about what others need to learn before she goes home to the Lord. We just never know.
Beautiful and touching story. Joining with you in prayer. To God be the Glory.
Thanks Dan. That means a lot to me.
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Lord, have mercy on this poor sister. Help her to see You in the confusion. May Satan be bound and Your Spirit fill her mind and her whole body. Because of Jesus.
Amen!